WITandWISDOM™ - E-zine

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WITandWISDOM(tm) - April 4, 2005
ISSN 1538-8794

Note: WITandWISDOM(tm) resumes publishing five days a week. :o)

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong. Dandemis

Source: Quotes of the Day, http://www.quotationspage.com/qotd.html

~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:

A few Sunday mornings ago, I came out of the early service at my church to find that my car battery had died. It was cold, stone dead. It didn't even try to turn over the engine. Just the deafening silence.

You're thinking, "What a great place to have one's car battery go dead." All those people who will help you and, if you need it, even pray for you. If something is going to happen like that, best it happen with Christians around. That's sort of like having a coronary in the lobby of a hospital.

Are you crazy?

The last place (and you can trust me on this) you want your car battery to go dead is in the church parking lot. You can't "cuss and spit" (metaphorically speaking, of course). You can't kick the car. You can't yell. You simply have to smile, look calm and pretend you're following the Biblical mandate to "give God thanks for everything" (Ephesians 5:20).

If you had been there, I would have impressed you with my calm, quiet acceptance of this circumstance as from a sovereign God who is good and good all the time. Everybody was concerned and I thanked them, and said I would be fine. I was nice and very "Christian."

But, can we talk? I wasn't fine at all. In fact I was ticked; really, really ticked.

I was thinking, "I would rather this happen in the parking lot of the local motorcycle gang." I didn't feel nice, Christian or calm. I wanted to kick the car, shout at someone (anyone) and spit. I wanted to sue the guy who sold me the car and the company that made it. I wanted to..... well, you get the idea.

A couple of church friends tried to help me "jump" the car with the jumper cables in my trunk. That battery didn't even try. Then, another friend tried his jumper cables with the same result. I was finally forced to call AAA and have them send out a tow truck. All this time, I'm up to my ears with Christians who were kind and nice. I hated it!

But there was hope. The guy who showed up to tow my car looked like a member of the local rock band; tattoos, long hair, untrimmed beard and an irritated look on his face. I thought, "And they say there's no God! Thank you. Lord for sending me someone who will understand my anger and my frustration, someone before whom I don't have to pretend to be nice." I could hardly wait to get in the tow truck and "let her rip" with my true, less-than- Christian sentiments.

"This your car?" the tow truck driver asked.

"Yeah," I said, trying to smile, "It's mine and I'm so glad you're here."

"Hey, man!" he said with the first smile he had shown, "I know your voice. You're Steve Brown? Key Life? Right? Man, I listen to you all the time."

"Lord," I prayed silently (still with a silly grin on my face), "don't do this to me. I thought You loved me."

Now, let me move from a small incident to a very big point. I pretended to be something I wasn't in the very places where I should have been free to be honest. I put on my "Christian mask" around Christians and thought that when a pagan showed up I could finally be honest about how I really felt.

Is that warped or what?

I was protecting myself. What would they think if they saw me frustrated, angry and kicking a car? After all, I'm a "religious professional" and we have an image to maintain.

So I faked it.

The worst part is that Jesus told me I had to tell you. Now, I feel better.

So, the next time my battery goes dead in a church parking lot (or even the parking lot of a motorcycle gang) you won't have to ask me how I'm doing. I'll tell you clearly and then, probably, tell you to leave me alone.

I may "cuss and spit," yell and kick the car in the safe and secure knowledge that Jesus is fond of me.

You can do that too for the same reason. He told me to remind you.

Source: Daily Wisdom, http://www.dailywisdom.com

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:

Holy Humor!! Church Signs

1. "If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."

2. "No God - No Peace? Know God - Know Peace."

3. "Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!"

4. "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins."

5. "Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"

6. An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads: "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."

7. When the restaurant next to another Church put out a sign with big red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too."

8. "People are like tea bags you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are."

9. "Fight truth decay - study the Bible daily."

10. "How will you spend eternity - Smoking or Non-smoking?"

11. "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"

12. "Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world."

13. "It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."

14. "Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."

15. "If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."

16. "If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again."

17. "Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon."
18. "This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" (U R)

19. "In the dark? Follow the Son."

20. "Running low on faith? Step in for a fill-up."

Submitted by Orvie Jensen

~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:

Spotted on a desk:

"Of course I don't look busy ... I did it right the first time."

Steve Goodier is the editor of The Life Support System, a motivational e-newsletter delivered daily to 85,000 subscribers in over 100 nations. His inspirational newsletter and books are available through his website at http://www.lifesupportsystem.com

Source: Life Support System, mailto:LifeSupport-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

A three-year-old boy has become the youngest member of Mensa.

Mikhail Ali knows the Arabic alphabet, can add and subtract four-digit numbers and is learning multiplication.

He even teases mum Shamsun and dad Tahir, 37, by spelling words backwards for a joke, reports the Sun.

His IQ of 137 puts him in the top two per cent in Britain for his age.

Shamsun, 26, who runs an internet marketing firm with her husband in Bramley, Leeds, said: "We're incredibly proud."

Source: Ananova http://www.ananova.com


WITandWISDOM™ - E-zine