WITandWISDOM™ - E-zine

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WITandWISDOM(tm) - August 31, 2005
ISSN 1538-8794

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

A pat on the back, though only a few vertebrae removed from a kick in the pants, is miles ahead in results. - Author unknown

Source: Beliefnet Presents, http://www.beliefnet.com/user/newsletter_choose.asp

~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:

What do you see, nurses, what do you see?
What are you thinking when you're looking at me?
A crabby old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply When you say in a loud voice, "I do wish you'd try!"
Who seems not to notice the things that you do, And forever is losing a stocking or shoe.....
Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will, With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill....

Is that what you're thinking?
Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse; you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still, As I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will.

I'm a small child of ten ...with a father and mother, Brothers and sisters, who love one another.

A young girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet, Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet.

A bride soon at twenty - - my heart gives a leap, Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.

At twenty-five now, I have young of ! my own, Who need me to guide and a secure happy home.

A woman of thirty, my young now grown fast, Bound to each other with ties that should last.

At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone, But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn.

At fifty once more, babies play round my knee, Again we know children, my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead; I look at the future, I shudder with dread.

For my young are all rearing young of their own, And I think of the years and the love that I've known.

I'm now an old woman ... and nature is cruel; 'Tis jest to make old age look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles, grace and vigor depart, There is now a stone where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells, And now and again, my battered heart swells.

I remember the joys, I remember the pain, And I'm loving and living life over again.

I think of the years ... all too few, gone too fast, And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.

So open your eyes, people, open and see, Not a crabby old woman; look closer ... see ME!!

Source: The Inspired Buffalo, mailto:the-inspired-buffalo-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies." -- Gene Hill

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
-- Dave Barry

"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." -- Groucho Marx

"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs." -- Aldous Huxley

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down." -- Robert Benchley

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives."
-- Sue Murphy

"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." -- August Strindberg

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." -- Fran Lebowitz

"Ever consider what dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" -- Anne Tyler

"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money." -- Joe Weinstein

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." -- James Thurber

"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets." -- Nora Ephron

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." -- Ann Landers

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." -- Robert A. Heinlein

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." -- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan

"Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!" -- Dr. Tom Cat

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." -- Ben Williams

"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." -- Edward Abbey

"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does." -- Christopher Morley

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." -- Josh Billings

Submitted by John L. Hoh, Jr., http://www.geocities.com/hohjohn/

~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director what the criteria was that defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

" Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub. Then we offer the patient a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket and ask the patient to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "a normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon."

"No," answered the director, smiling. "A normal person would pull the plug."

(Would you have passed?)

Source: Cascade_Express(tm) E-Zine
mailto:Cascade_Express-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

TORONTO (United Press International via COMTEX) -- A Canadian couple, both 89, who won $7.5 million in a national lottery aren't planning on traveling the world, but would like some new nylons and a car.

Thelma and Victor Hayes arrived in Toronto to collect their winnings, after discovering they had matched six numbers for the Aug. 6 jackpot.

They were met by their two daughters, ages 58 and 54, with whom they said they would share some of the winnings.

Thelma Hayes told the Toronto Star she couldn't think of much she needed.

"No plans, except I'm getting a new pair of nylons," she said.

Her husband of 63 years was more adventurous.

"I'd like a Lincoln, if I can find one that's suitable," he said.

The couple said they don't want to buy a house, and will remain in their retirement home.

Source: ArcaMax Weird News, http://tinyurl.com/9kf44


WITandWISDOM™ - E-zine