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WITandWISDOM(tm) - June 16, 2006
"They do not love that do not show their love." - John Heywood
Source: The Funnies, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/andychaps_the-funnies
~~~~~~~ SPECIAL THOUGHTS:
God's Lights in Dark Nights
By Max Lucado
There are snowstorms. There are hailstorms. There are rainstorms. And there are doubt storms.
Every so often a doubt storm rolls into my life, bringing with it a flurry of questions and gale force winds of fear. And, soon after it comes, a light shines through it.
God's lights in our dark nights are as numerous as the stars, if only we'll look for them.
When Larry Brown was the coach of the San Antonio Spurs, he once spent an afternoon at a local men's store, signing autographs. He was scheduled to spend two hours, but ended up spending three.
Pencil-and-pad-toting kids besieged the place, asking him questions and shaking his hand.
When he was finally able to slip out, he climbed into his car only to notice a touching sight. A late-arriving youngster pedaled up, jumped off his bike, and ran to the window to see if the coach was still in the store. When he saw he wasn't, he turned slowly, and sadly walked over to his bike and began to ride off.
Coach Brown turned off the ignition, climbed out of the car and walked over to the boy. They chatted a few minutes, went next door to a drugstore, sat down at a table and had a soft drink.
No reporters were near. No cameras were on. As far as these two knew, no one knew. I'm sure Larry Brown had other things to do that afternoon. No doubt he had other appointments to keep. But it's doubtful that anything he might have done that afternoon was more important than what he did.
In a world of big-bucked, high-glossed professional sports, it did me good to hear of one coach who is still a coach at heart. Hearing what he did was enough to blow away any lingering clouds of doubt and to leave me warmed by God's light ... His gentle light.
Gentle lights. God's solutions for doubt storms. Not thunderbolts. Not explosions of light. Just gentle lights. Visible evidence of the invisible hand.
UpWords From Max Lucado, July 6, 2005. Cited on http://www.Crosswalk.com
Source: Weekend Encounter, by Dick Innes, Copyright (c) ACTS International, 2004, http://www.actsweb.org/subscribe.php
~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:
Dictionary For Women
Argument (ar~gyou~ment) n.
A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he hasn't realized it yet.
Airhead (er~hed) n.
What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
Bar-be-que (bar~bi~q) n
You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he "made the dinner."
Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.
Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Cantaloupe (kant~e~lope) n
Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer (kloze dri~yer) n.
An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda (dy~it so~da) n.
A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity (e~ter~ni~tee) n.
The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (ex~er~siz) v
To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery List (grow~ser~ee list) n.
What you spend ½ an hour writing, then forget to take to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres~er) n.
Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate
Hardware Store (hard~war stor) n
Similar to a black hole in space -- if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
Childbirth (child~brth) n.
You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breathe...push..."
Park (park) v./n.
Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
Patience (pa~shens) n.
The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children.
See also "tranquilizers."
Waterproof Mascara (wah~tr~pruf mas~kar~ah) n.
Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Submitted by Sharon Hamel
~~~~~~~ KEEP SMILING:
One time my kids wanted to surprise me with a good breakfast in bed on Father's Day. They put a cot in the kitchen.
Submitted by B. B.
Chip-makers were forced to flea their factory when they discovered one of their spuds was a hand grenade.
A 100-metre exclusion zone was set up as bomb disposal teams were called to McCain's factory in Scarborough, North Yorks.
The alert came just 24 hours after the tip of a wartime shell was found at the same plant just before it went into a slicer.
The potatoes come from fields in northern France and Belgium where relics from both World Wars are unearthed regularly.
According to The Sun a company spokesman said: "It is something that we will be looking into with our suppliers. It is obviously not an efficient use of our staff's time if we have to keep evacuating the premises.
"We have strict safety procedures and the safety of our workers is of paramount importance."
The WWI grenade and shell tip were both spotted as factory workers cleaned mud off potatoes.
The grenade was destroyed in a controlled explosion.
Source: Ananova http://www.ananova.com