WITandWISDOM™ - E-zine

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WITandWISDOM(tm) - March 6, 1998

~~~~~~~ THOUGHTS:

Don't ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like I did once, because the faster you go, the later you think you are. - Jack Handey, of Saturday Night Live in "Deepest Thoughts: So Deep They Squeak"


Teach me to wait patiently in the silence...
To trust your guiding hand,
Your perfect will, your steadfast love
even when I'm feeling most alone.

Teach me to ask, not why, but what...
What do you want me to learn
from this, Lord...
what does it mean to my walk with you,
in my relationship with you and others?

Let me seek, more than reasons, your wisdom,
More than answers, your approval,
More than peace, your blessed presence
in my life."

- B. J. Hoff- "Thorns and Thrones"

(Shared by Sharon Unger)

~~~~~~~ THIS & THAT:


"Brussels police department, how may I assist you?"

"Uh.. yes.. I just got hit in the face with a cream pie."

"Okay, sir. Have you called the Brussels police department before?"


"Well, let me get a little information about you for our records.

Your name?"

"Bill Gates"


"The USA"

"Native language?"


"Okay, sir. Your police department ID number is BP31415927.

Please use this number the next time you call.

Now, you say you were hit in the face with a pie?"

"Yes, I was just about to meet with the Belgian Prime Minister.

One person distracted me while another hit me with a cream pie."

"We've had other customers report that they were hit in the face with a custard pie. Are you sure it was a cream pie?"

"Well, I have white stuff all over my face and I don't see any custard, so I really don't think it was a custard pie."

"Have you visited the Prime Minister before?"


"Were you hit in the face with a pie then?"


"Hmm... have you visited any other Prime Ministers in the past month?"


"Any pies then?"


"Okay, well.. let's try something.

Go outside the building and come in again. I'll wait."

"Just a minute.." "Okay, I'm back."

"Did you get hit by another pie?"

"Of course not"

"Well sir, I don't know what could have caused the first pie, but it looks like things are working fine now.

I'll make a note of the problem, though.

If it happens again, please note the exact details of the situation and call us again. Thank you for calling the Brussels Police Department."


(Shared by Roxan Roethler)


Dropped Dead. - A Detroit paper, noticing the fact that a man lately dropped dead while combing his hair, says; "And yet there are people who will persist in this dangerous habit."

Oregon City Enterprise, Oct 23, 1874 http://WWW.ThisIsTrue.Com

~~~~~~~ TRIVIA:

The world's termites outweigh the world's humans 10 to 1.

(Shared by Just 4 Laughs! http://www.GeoCities.com/Hollywood/Set/6993)

WITandWISDOM™ - E-zine